Ever notice how some people can suggest an idea and everyone leans in, while others say the same thing and people immediately put up walls?
The difference isn’t charisma. It’s not confidence. And it’s definitely not about being more aggressive or “persuasive” in the traditional sense.
It’s about understanding a fundamental distinction that separates people who create genuine influence from those who constantly face resistance—even when they’re offering something valuable.
The Battle You Didn’t Know You Were Fighting
Most people approach influence like a game of chess—strategizing how to maneuver others into the position they want. They’re focused on winning the conversation, closing the deal, getting compliance.
This creates an invisible force field of resistance. People can sense when you’re trying to bend their will to serve your agenda, even if your intentions are good.
Here’s what most people don’t realize: Every time you try to convince someone, you’re creating an opponent. Every logical argument becomes a debate to win. Every emotional appeal feels like manipulation.
The cost? Broken trust. Damaged relationships. And ironically, far fewer people actually taking the action you’re recommending—even when it would genuinely help them.
The Question That Changes Everything
There’s a different approach entirely. Instead of asking “How can I get them to do what I want?” the most influential people ask something radically different:
“What does this person already desire, and how can I help them achieve it?”
This single shift transforms every interaction. You stop being an adversary trying to overcome objections and become a trusted advisor illuminating a path they actually want to walk.
Think about the financial advisor who stops pushing investment products and instead discovers their client dreams of retiring early to spend time with grandchildren. Suddenly, those same investments aren’t being “sold”—they’re tools that serve a vision the client is already passionate about.
Or consider the parent who stops demanding their teenager study harder and instead helps them connect academic excellence with their dream career. Same outcome, zero resistance.
The Ministry of Influence
Here’s the fascinating thing I discovered while researching how the most effective communicators operate: they don’t see themselves as persuaders at all. They see themselves as servants.
They spend 70% of their energy discovering what truly motivates someone—their dreams, fears, values, and aspirations—and only 30% showing how their solution serves those existing motivations.
This creates something powerful: partnership instead of opposition.
When you help people see how a decision serves their own deepest desires, resistance evaporates. They’re not doing what you want—they’re doing what they want. You’re just helping them see the path more clearly.
The Framework That Makes This Practical
Understanding this principle intellectually is one thing. Having a systematic way to apply it—especially in the digital age where AI and content creation have changed everything—is another entirely.
The challenge becomes: how do you create content that genuinely serves people’s desires at scale? How do you build trust and influence when you’re not in face-to-face conversations?
This is exactly what modern marketers are wrestling with. The tools have changed dramatically, but the psychology remains the same. People still respond to those who serve their interests, not those who push agendas.
I came across something recently that brings all of these concepts together in a practical, step-by-step format: the AI Marketers Club community. What caught my attention wasn’t just the AI techniques—it was the underlying framework that teaches you to create content that genuinely resonates because it’s built on understanding what people actually want.
The approach teaches you to use modern tools not to manipulate, but to scale genuine service. To create content that helps people see how your solution serves their existing desires and dreams.
The Choice That Defines Your Influence
Every interaction you have going forward presents a choice: Will you try to convince people to serve your agenda, or will you persuade by serving theirs?
One path creates resistance, skepticism, and short-term compliance at best. The other builds trust, partnership, and genuine transformation.
The sooner you implement this shift in how you communicate—whether in sales, leadership, parenting, or content creation—the faster you’ll see the walls come down and real influence emerge.
Because here’s the truth: people don’t resist change. They resist being changed. But they’ll run toward transformation when they see it serves what they already deeply desire.
Your role isn’t to push. It’s to illuminate. Not to overcome, but to serve. Not to convince, but to help people see what’s already true in their hearts.
That’s not just better marketing. That’s ministry.
